A World Like That

Have you ever just wanted to stop what you are currently doing and head to that city you've always dreamed of living in and start a life you only lived in your dreams? Everyday there is an increase in my desire to just stop what I'm doing and just move to NYC and work wherever I get a job.

I guess it might have something to do with the fact that I've been doing the same exact thing for about a year now and haven't really moved forward in my "career". If it wasn't for the end result that will God willing come one day, not soon enough, I know I couldn't keep doing what I have been doing for the last year. It's so mundane and so repetitive. Everyday it feels like I just wake up and do the same thing again. From the food I eat, to the route I take for my jogs, to the people I see, its ALL THE SAME! I'm sure the monotony I feel is felt by hundreds and thousands of people out there who work in 9-5 jobs or even in the field I'm going into. But at least they are getting paid, they don't have to sit there and do it all without any fruit of their labor.

Sometimes it is just too much to work to be happy and grateful for all the wonderful things you have in your life, like your family, significant other, health, home, etc. It is much easier to moan and groan about how life hasn't brought you the things you want and are working for. How life screwed you over, how God screwed you over.

I've been having a love/hate relationship with God since about January. God has given me some amazing miracles, he has introduced me to some amazing people and given me some great opportunities. But man, when He doesn't let one thing you've been praying hardcore for go your way, you just lose all faith in Him. At least I do. It's so hard to build faith in God, but its so easy to have it shattered down.

I know God is there. I know He listens and does whats best for me even if I don't realize it at that time that it is the best thing for me. But if He could just give me a little understanding of why He does what He does, my life would be a million times easier! I wouldn't have to worry about everything that wasn't going how I planned. I could go with the flow. Ah to imagine an easier world. I could spend all day day dreaming about a world like that.